The Stages of Healing After Trauma

The stages of healing after trauma often include recognition, discovery, recovery, reclaiming, and restoration. While each person’s journey is unique, the healing after trauma unfolds in recognizable patterns. 

In the last month there has been an internal wrestling, like Jacob and the angel. Who have I been? Who am I becoming?  Who am I being called to be? Am I ready to be known and to share my survivor’s voice? 

Since 2011, I have been wrestling with the healing process of alignment; but this feels different. Now, I’m wrestling not with recognition, discovery, recovery, or reclaiming my story, but with redemption and restoration. I am realizing it is not “different,” but a transition into a final stage of healing. The realities of becoming more fully aligned body, mind, and spirit, and moving forward are manifesting. 

Dan Allender, in The Wounded Heart, presents “stages” of healing that have been a stabilizing reference point for me for nearly a decade. Oftentimes, feeling disoriented in that wrestling, I’d return to the chart for an “Aha! I’m transitioning between stages.” While the healing process does not follow the same path for everyone, like the grieving process, there are recognizable stages.  

Once again, awareness surfaced of the disorienting internal wrestling, and once again, returning to these stages has brought clarity.  

Recognition: The First Stage of Healing 

If I were to label my journey with stages, the first would have begun with the recognition that I needed to make different choices, as I have written previously. That choice for “life” and alignment in my relationships, birthed the first stage of healing. It involved an honest, sober look at my belief systems regarding myself, God, and others. 

This was an initial layer. Many more would be unveiled in the years to come. A major feature of this stage was a healing journey class by His Healing Ministries. It dealt with surface-level family-of-origin wounds, including mother abandonment, step-mother relational conflicts, and their compounding impacts. Clues of much deeper wounds were peeking through in this stage, as well. 

Discovery: Confronting Hidden Trauma 

Stage two was the most devastating. In this stage, memories of childhood abuse and disturbing dreams challenged the long-held story and core belief system about my family and history. The most troubling aspect of this discovery stage for a survivor is the loss of control over who we are, where we have been, and how to move forward. It alters our sense of security in the world. Are people really who they say they are? Are we safe in the world? What is truth and what is a lie? Where is a safe and truth-based starting point from which we may move forward? For me, in the beginning, most days were so disorienting, it was difficult to function. Gradually, the number of “functional” days outnumbered the really bad days. 

Recovery: The Work of Healing 

With that shift, stage three began. It was the longest period, and required the hardest and most intentional work of recovery. Once the ability to function returned, the temptation to push aside the work during the day was strong. However, the need for healing could not be ignored. The unresolved painful issues would demand attention in the night hours. Insomnia, dreams, or internal distresses would lead me to prayer, reading, research, and problem-solving by whatever means at my disposal. 

Reclaiming: Stability and Identity

The transition into stage four was not clearly defined. Likely it transitions into the ongoing healing process for the rest of my life. While stage three lasted many years, there was a gradual reclaiming of my sense of stability and control. The nighttime disturbances diminished to rare occurrences. Daytime disturbances also became rarer. Hope began to emerge for reentering social community after long-term self-isolation while focusing on surviving the healing journey. 

Restoration: Reentering Life and Community 

That transition period lasted two to three years, with seasons of regression and progression throughout. Towards the end of stage four, however, what began to emerge was the draw into safe community. That draw was now accompanied by a desire to take action. The desire inspired the launching of a blog, as well as a move towards expanding my business in order to help other survivors more intentionally. 

Encountering Resistance in the Restoration Stage 

As a private introvert at heart, internal wrestling soon commenced—self-doubt, fears of rejection, failure, a sense of inadequacy. How much of my story do I want to disclose? How? Am I brave enough to handle the response, whether it be negative or nonexistent?

One of the deepest wounds of a survivor is having no voice. It was the first wound I recognized once the survivor curtain was pulled—that my voice did not matter. As a matter of fact, in 2016, I considered starting a blog. I wrote the first one, 12 Things I Fear in Going Public as a Trauma Survivor. That post is no less relevant today. The wrestling of 2016 is familiar to survivors everywhere, especially those who desire to support others. 

Resilience: Finding Voice and Moving Forward 

Remembering Brené Brown’s Gifts of Imperfection—courage, compassion, and connection—I am choosing to cultivate resilience. Stepping into vulnerability, I am yielding to my survivor voice’s call to be heard. The hard-earned path of redemption and restoration—still unfolding—is not meant to be held in silence. There is power not only in walking a healing journey, but in sharing it, as we are able, with what we have in each season. 

If you find yourself somewhere within these stages, whether in the disorientation, the deep work, or the quiet rebuilding, you are not alone. There is language for your experience, and there is a path forward. 

If you are ready to explore your own healing journey or looking for a journey partner, I invite you to learn more about my Brain Integration Therapy or Identity Mentoring services. 

Or reach out to start a conversation here. 

You matter, and your story matters. Your voice has a place. 

More Blog Posts: 

Read more: 12 Fears of Going Public as a Trauma Survivor